Trying (SOL #20)

Lately I have been feeling not enough. I’m struggling with classroom management in a couple of classes, and I’m finding it hard to keep the balance between being forceful and keeping my personality in the classroom. I’m also struggling with a few personal things like nutrition and pushing myself during workouts, as well as pushing myself to learn more. I used to think I was smart, but now I feel like I am not doing anything to learn new things.

Tonight I told my husband these things and that I feel like I am trying too hard – in the negative way. His response was that we’re all trying – that’s what we do. Nobody really knows what they’re doing. That made me feel a little bit better.

I guess the only thing I can do is try something different tomorrow. I’m not going to change everything, but maybe I can rearrange my seating chart so the frequent talkers are separated in my 8th period class (and make them stay there). Maybe I can clean up behind my desk so I feel a little more organized. Maybe I can choose to read something outside of my comfort zone.

I can’t make a difference in everything in one day, but I can be intentional. Why am I doing what I’m doing? Why I am I saying what I’m saying? I may be putting a little pressure on myself sometimes, but this week I am going to try to take things one day at a time.

 

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4 thoughts on “Trying (SOL #20)

  1. One day at a time sounds so beautiful! I have a post of my own brewing about exactly this, slowing down and seeing each day as a new “try.” Thanks for helping me flush out some of my own ideas by connecting to yours.

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  2. Oh my, I loved your husband’s comment, “Nobody really knows what they’re doing.” I literally laughed out loud just because it feels so true. Teaching can really make one feel the way you do– it sometimes feels like a job that just beats you down and makes you feel just as you describe- not enough. But remember, you are enough. Believe that so your kids can believe it, too. A teacher’s work matters. Your work matters. You’re making a difference. So be easy on yourself, and just do what you can do.

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  3. I like the idea of being intentional in what you are doing. I can relate to a lot of your feelings and allowing myself to not handle everything at once (which I can’t even do) is hard to accept. But maybe if we can focus on less but be more intentional about how we deal with things (no more band-aids), life won’t be so overwhelming. Thanks for the idea!

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