Lately I have been feeling not enough. I’m struggling with classroom management in a couple of classes, and I’m finding it hard to keep the balance between being forceful and keeping my personality in the classroom. I’m also struggling with a few personal things like nutrition and pushing myself during workouts, as well as pushing myself to learn more. I used to think I was smart, but now I feel like I am not doing anything to learn new things.
Tonight I told my husband these things and that I feel like I am trying too hard – in the negative way. His response was that we’re all trying – that’s what we do. Nobody really knows what they’re doing. That made me feel a little bit better.
I guess the only thing I can do is try something different tomorrow. I’m not going to change everything, but maybe I can rearrange my seating chart so the frequent talkers are separated in my 8th period class (and make them stay there). Maybe I can clean up behind my desk so I feel a little more organized. Maybe I can choose to read something outside of my comfort zone.
I can’t make a difference in everything in one day, but I can be intentional. Why am I doing what I’m doing? Why I am I saying what I’m saying? I may be putting a little pressure on myself sometimes, but this week I am going to try to take things one day at a time.